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“– And this is Simon!” Felice said enthusiastically, with an innocent expression that Wille wasn't buying for a single second.
Simon was the guy who Felice had been mentioning at least twice a week for months, practically, tactlessly, begging Wille to meet him. He was the best friend of the guy who owned the bar they were at, someone named Ayub she had met in one of her uni culinary classes. Going to the bar was another thing Felice had convinced Wille to do.
Wille didn’t really do bars, but Felice had really talked it up, and now that Wille was here, they could understand the appeal. The place was surprisingly trendy and crowded, filled with university students. And there were random pride flags and old vinyls hanging everywhere they looked.
Also, most importantly, Simon was there.
As Wille stood there, completely motionless, speared to the floor by the utter perfection standing in front of them, they were fiercely glad they hadn't told Felice to knock it off with the matchmaking.
“Hi,” Simon smiled shyly, with a tiny, awkward wave.
That was literally it. That cute little wave. That was enough to transform Wille's already-infatuated thoughts into a fully-fledged crush on someone they'd literally met seconds ago.
“Hej,” Wille smiled back, feeling their cheeks warm under Simon’s gaze. His eyes were big and dark and expressive, and, most importantly, trained on Wille.
“Wille uses they/them pronouns,” Felice interjected quickly.
Simon threw her a grateful look, then, when he met Wille's eyes again, smiled fully, and– wow. If Wille wasn't already entirely enamored by the adorable little wave, that perfect head of curls, a face that more closely resembled a work of art than an actual person, that smile would have won them over. Because, fuck, that smile was bright enough to illuminate even the darkest places.
No wonder Wille was crushing on him, drawn like a moth to a flame.
Wille needed some light in their life.
Felice had said that Simon was taking a music course at the university and had a beautiful singing voice. Also, according to Felice, he was very lovely and very gay. They'd had a long conversation with Felice, wondering whether Simon would even be into them like that, since he liked boys and Wille wasn't one– not all the time, anyway.
Felice had told them, with all the patience she could muster, that Wille, more than anyone, should have an open mind when it came to the fluidity of sexuality. Still, Wille tried not to get their hopes up about it. Simon was just a guy. If he didn't like Wille, it didn't matter.
Now, though, Wille's head was spinning. She’d said he was lovely, but Felice hadn’t said Simon looked like that. Surely she fucking knew what she was doing to Wille's poor, queer heart by introducing them to the single most breathtaking human Wille had ever laid eyes on.
Conversations ebbed and flowed naturally throughout the night. When Felice’s date arrived, a quiet woman Wille had met a couple of times before, Felice disappeared somewhere with her not long after. Wille smirked into their glass of cola, thinking about how Felice had been so hesitant about pursuing relationships with women after being such a “slave” (her words, not Wille's) to compulsory heterosexuality. Judging by the heart eyes and the five minutes it took them to run off together, Wille assumed things were going just fine between them.
“Have you seen a tall guy with long hair?”
“Huh?” Wille’s head whipped around at the sound of Simon’s voice, deep and ridiculously attractive. “Oh! Um, no, I haven’t,” Wille replied, genuinely disappointed that they couldn’t help Simon.
“His name’s Ayub– he owns the bar. Has Felice introduced you yet?” Simon’s eyes were so lovely, such a deep, shining brown.
Wille shook their head, utterly entranced. “No, but she's told me about him.”
“Come on, I want you to meet him– he's one of my best friends,” Simon explained, casually grabbing Wille’s hand.
Wille looked down at Simon’s hand wrapped around his, utterly bemused and ridiculously happy.
Simon led them across the room, towards the long bartop with string lights above an impressive collection of alcohol.
“There he is!” Simon leaned closer to Wille to speak, and the scent coming off of his body hit Wille like a wave. Citrus and peony and maybe a hint of coconut. Wille wanted to close their eyes and lean further into it, inhale it deep into their lungs.
Wille’s eyes zeroed in on the man in question, who was opening a box and pulling a large glass bottle full of brown liquid from it. The label looked fancy, but Wille didn’t know anything about liquor.
“Ayub! This is Wille,” Simon called as the man wiped his hands and walked over. Wille gave a shy smile and Ayub nodded to them.
“Hej,” Ayub waved to Wille before turning back to Simon with a smirk. “Where’d you find him?”
Ugh, Wille’s chest squeezed with all-too familiar anxiety.
“Them,” Simon said nonchalantly. Wille’s chest loosened at the same time their tummy did an excited flip. “They’re Felice’s Wille.”
“Shit, my bad,” Ayub said, locking eyes with Wille. “Felice’s Wille? Like, the one she said you’d–”
“Oookay, see you later!” Simon said, comically cutting Ayub off mid-sentence to drag Wille away from him.
“Nice to meet you!” Wille called over their shoulder to Ayub, who was watching them with an amused smirk.
Ayub's casual apology made them feel good. So many times, before Wille had stopped responding altogether, Wille had found themself explaining their complicated gender to apathetic strangers. What they liked the most was when people didn't say anything about it, when they were simply accepted, no questions asked.
Simon's hand on their wrist made them feel acknowledged and supported. More than that– bold, and giddy, and alive.
“Felice said what, now?” Wille grinned at a flushing Simon, who playfully shoved Wille away from him.
“She may have… mentioned you to Ayub,” Simon said sheepishly. Something about the way his cheeks darkened and his eyes darted away from theirs kept Wille from teasing him any further.
Wille surveyed Simon as the night wore on, up close and from across the room, their brain working overtime trying not to map every inch of Simon’s face, his body. Wille found themself continuously pulled back into Simon's orbit, whether by design or fate.
They chatted casually a few times after that, both of them eventually getting pulled away by their friends– Felice reappeared after a while and convinced Wille to do a shot of something neon blue and sickly sweet. Then, Ayub showed up with Simon in tow, and Ayub and Wille got to talking about vinyl. Simon seemed genuinely interested to learn that Wille had an entire collection at home.
“I'd love to see it sometime,” Simon said in a self-assured manner, after Wille had finished describing the record mural on their bedroom wall. The composed and confident way Simon expressed himself was incredibly alluring, and Wille's heart pattered in their chest at the thought of Simon in their room.
“Yeah,” Wille nodded enthusiastically before thinking twice about it. “We could listen to something. What are you into?”
“My dad got me into soft rock as a kid. A lot of Fleetwood Mac and Air Supply. I still listen to it when I'm having an off day.” Simon looked away shyly.
“I love Fleetwood Mac! I have Rumours on vinyl. You should come over.”
Wille didn’t know what gave them the courage to say it; whether it was the shot they’d taken earlier in the evening or the warm way Simon was gazing at them. Maybe a mixture of both.
And, they couldn't bring themself to regret it, especially not when Simon smiled, bright and beautiful, and murmured, “That would be perfect.”
There was a pause between them, a moment when the large room seemed to narrow and hush. Simon's eyes tracked Wille's face, once, quickly, but it was enough to make Wille shiver. Then Simon was called away with an apologetic smile and Wille went to find Felice again.
They circled around each other after that, their conversations not straying further than polite small talk and coy smiles.
That was why, when Simon entered the bathroom and grinned at them in the mirror as they washed their hands, Wille was equal parts excited and confused.
“Are you busy right now, or do you have time to sneak off?” Simon asked, brandishing a neatly-rolled joint from a silver box in his pocket.
Felice must have mentioned Wille’s… extracurricular activities at some point; there wasn’t really another explanation for a borderline-stranger to so comfortably wave a joint at Wille. It made Wille ridiculously giddy to think about how that conversation might have come up, if Simon had asked about them, wondered about their preferences and lifestyle.
“I'm so up for that,” Wille responded immediately.
It wasn't even the promise of near-solitude– the chance to get away from all the people and the noise of the evening– or the peaceful calm that they knew that joint would give them. Really, it was the chance to spend time alone with Simon, to talk to him without the interruptions that had plagued their interactions.
They followed Simon out of the bathroom, vaguely registering that Simon hadn't even used the toilet. Their heart fluttered at the thought that Simon had been looking for them, specifically.
Wille had no idea where Simon was taking them. They went up some unlit stairs, and Wille briefly wondered if they were allowed up there. But the hypnotic sway of Simon’s hips as he preceded them convinced Wille that they really didn't care if they weren't technically permitted.
Simon led him to a window, raising it before turning to Wille with a mischievous grin.
“Nice hiding spot,” Wille teased as Simon climbed through, trying not to let their eyes linger too long on the graceful way Simon's body moved.
“It's handy,” Simon's slightly-smug voice sounded from outside as Wille put their leg through the window. They struggled a bit more than Simon had, what with their longer, more awkward limbs.
They found themself standing next to Simon on a narrow fire escape, the entire skyline visible from where they stood.
“Wow,” Wille breathed out, their eyes tracing the outline of every building against the night sky. Despite the late hour, everything in the city was still so alive.
“Nice view, huh?”
Wille nodded enthusiastically, but when they turned their head, they were met with Simon’s steady gaze, curious and playful and gorgeous. His eyes stole the breath from their lungs and made their heart beat at double speed.
“Beautiful,” Wille murmured, eyes roving Simon's face in the dim light. Simon's eyes widened slightly at Wille's boldness, and Wille wished they had better lighting, so they could see the flush more clearly on Simon's cheeks. He seemed truly flustered for the first time since they'd been introduced, and it was incredibly endearing.
Simon sat down, his back against the building, and Wille followed. They watched as Simon brought the joint out and held it between slim, nimble fingers. They were completely enraptured by the sight of him putting it between his full lips, the flick of the lighter, the way his face momentarily glowed orange and magnificent as the flame caught the end of the joint. Even the way the smoke rolled off of his lips was graceful and lovely.
Then, when he passed the joint, the thought of their lips touching the same thing Simon's had set their skin on fire in an oddly pleasant way. They took a slow pull, holding Simon's eyes, and when Wille gave it back to him, their fingers touching felt like pure electricity.
“So, your pronouns,” Simon said after a moment of charged silence, puffing on the joint before passing it back.
Wille froze for a second, before melting into relaxation. Simon was safe; Wille just knew it.
“Yeah?” Wille gave Simon a wry smile, and Simon got that flustered look again.
“I was just wondering about your gender? If you don't mind talking about it, obviously. Sorry to be so forward, I'm just–”
“Simon,” Wille softly interrupted. It surprised them how pleased they felt to simply say Simon's name. Dark brown eyes met theirs, open and focused. “It's fine. You can ask questions.”
Simon smiled gently. “Okay,” he breathed out.
“My gender is kind of fluid, I guess. Like, I don't feel like a boy. Not most of the time, anyway.”
“Do you feel like a boy sometimes, then?” Simon asked, leaning closer while he toked on the joint. His genuine interest once again made Wille want to be completely honest.
“Yes and no. It's like, slightly-boy,” Wille thought for a moment, head titled. “Boy, but a little to the left?”
Simon's giggle was damn near life-altering.
“And the rest of the time are you, like… nonbinary?”
Wille wasn't used to someone taking so much interest in their gender. They were typically either thoroughly accepting, awkwardly uninformed, or, in worst cases, hostile. Simon's wholesome interest was exciting and a bit nerve-wracking, but mostly pleasant and affirming. Simon's curiosity was refreshing and adorable. He was adorable. Wille couldn't help but tell him everything he wanted to know.
“Um. No?” Wille answered, trying to be as honest as they could. Something in them was very insistent that Simon was safe, could be trusted with their mess of a gender. “Or, I don't think so. I'm just… Wille,” they shrugged.
Simon handed them back the joint, looking down at their hands before meeting their eyes again with that same curious look.
“Just Wille,” Simon repeated, smiling softly.
“Yeah,” Wille murmured back after taking another hit, smoke rolling off of their tongue as they exhaled.
“I'm gay,” Simon said bluntly, then laughed. “Sorry, not that you asked. I'm just getting really in your business right now, and also, I'm–” Simon cut himself off, giggling adorably again, then seeming to think better of it. Wille found everything about him so incredibly endearing, they wanted to explode.
“Sorry!” Simon repeated, sending Wille a crinkly smile. “I'm just nervous. I've… never been attracted to someone who wasn't a guy before.”
Wille paused, letting their brain fully process Simon's words, then went fully blank. Just radio static for a solid five seconds.
“Yeah?” Wille smiled slowly, when they finally rebooted and regained cognitive function.
Their eyes searched Simon's, shamelessly dropping to his lips. He was gorgeous. Wille had already told him he was beautiful. They just never imagined Simon liking them back, or being so forward about it.
“Mhm,” Simon hummed while taking another hit, holding eye contact while he did. Something about it was oddly sensual. Smoke curled from his lips as he puffed on it, and the way he puckered those lips when he exhaled, watching the smoke stream out of them was erotic in a way it probably shouldn't have been. The entire world seemed to mute itself around them as their eyes met again.
“Want to shotgun?" Simon whispered, so quietly, as if to not break the sudden, wire-taut tension surrounding them.
Wille flushed all the way to their chest. They couldn't remember the last time they'd done that, and certainly never with someone they were so incredibly attracted to.
Still, they nodded their head, fully transfixed by Simon's ethereal presence.
Simon took a long pull from the joint, the cherry on the end lighting up, fire-red, illuminating the soft dip between Simon's upper lip. They wanted to run their tongue along it.
Then, Simon had lowered the joint and he was leaning closer. Closer. Wille's heart stuttered in their chest and they tilted their chin up and closed their eyes, lips slightly parted, waiting.
Before they knew it, Simon's lips were so close to theirs that they could feel his breath, warm and sudden. Wille could taste him, mixed with the heady flavor of weed. They opened their mouth further, sucking in the smoke straight from Simon's lungs. They tried to keep from trembling when they felt the slight, soft brush of Simon's mouth on theirs before it was suddenly gone.
Their eyes fluttered open and they looked at Simon, their heartbeat increasing at the way Simon's eyes flitted across Wille's face and settled on their lips. They let the smoke out, studying him. Everything about him was inviting; his eyes boring into Wille's, his body language, how he was still leaning towards Wille, his chin slightly tilted up.
With a hitched breath, Wille pressed forward, seeming to take Simon momentarily by surprise as their lips returned to Simon's. He let out a delicate sigh, his soft hand coming up to cup Wille's neck and pull them closer.
Wille clutched at Simon's waist, their fingers wrapping around it instinctively, like they were crafted into existence for the sole purpose of putting their hands on Simon's body. Wille felt him shift, his mouth separating from Wille's just long enough to stub out of the joint and leave it where it lay, looking back at Wille with determination in his eyes. It made their stomach flip.
They watched each other for a second as silent sparks flew between them. It felt like something white hot in Wille's veins, tingling his skin. When they couldn't stand the distance between their bodies any longer, they reached out to place both hands on Simon's waist again, drawing him closer until he was climbing in Wille's lap, his strong thighs bracketing Wille's.
Their lips met in the middle, open-mouthed, frenzied. Simon's tongue immediately flicked against theirs, his hands sliding into Wille's hair and pulling them closer, lips parting only for Simon to tilt his head, allowing their tongues to meet at a different angle.
Simon moaned against their tongue, and they were gone. Ruined before they’d even touched each other– if they ended up touching each other. The thought made them kiss Simon harder, filthier. Wille hysterically thought they might actually die if they didn't touch Simon right now. They were embarrassingly hard in their pants considering they were only making out.
Simon broke away for air, and they panted together, Simon staring down at Wille with his hands still buried in Wille's hair. Wille was speechless as they gazed up at Simon. In the low light, slightly-stoned as they both were, Simon looked softer, his sharp edges blurred, yet just as fucking beautiful.
“What are you thinking?”
Simon's murmured question snapped Wille out of their reverie.
Their face warmed as Simon reached out to softly trace the pad of his thumb over Wille’s cheekbone, across their jaw to their mouth, softly tracing the dip in their upper lip before swiping over the lower lip just as slowly. The only thing that made Wille feel less embarrassed about the harsh, shaky breath that left their body was the fact that Simon's finger was trembling against them.
“You're gorgeous,” Wille answered honestly, looking up into Simon's dark, fathomless eyes, trying to decipher what thoughts lay behind them.
Simon leaned in and kissed them feverishly, his hands diving into Wille's hair again, holding them together as he licked into Wille's mouth. It was deep and desperate in a way that made Wille moan and clutch Simon's body tighter against their own.
Wille had always liked kissing. They liked being close to someone in this way, feeling their skin under their fingertips, tasting their next breath. But they'd never been kissed quite like this. Simon engulfed them. Wille felt overwhelmingly desired, and painfully aroused.
If Simon shifted an inch closer, he would have been able to feel how hard Wille was straining against their zipper. And, no sooner than they'd had the thought, Simon rolled his hips down.
Their mouths broke apart, their low moans mixing together in some sort of erotic harmony. Wille thought, somewhat hysterically, that they should have this on vinyl– it was surely the most beautiful sound they’d ever heard.
Wille's cock twitched, feeling Simon's hard length pressed against them and they gripped Simon's hips with both hands, grinding into him shamelessly. The noise Simon rewarded him with was gorgeously filthy.
“Wille,” Simon gasped, putting a hand on Wille's chest. Wille kissed down Simon’s smooth throat, gently licking over the impossibly-soft skin. Simon's breath stuttered and he gripped Wille's hair. Wille wasn't sure if it was in an attempt to pull them away or closer.
“Are you… what's…” Simon trailed off, moaning softly when Wille lightly scraped their teeth against the pulse in his throat.
“Yeah?” Wille encouraged, their lips stretching into a smile against Simon's neck. Simon made a little noise, almost like a whimper, that speared Wille's gut.
“Can I touch you? Is that… okay?”
Wille had been asked for consent before, but this felt different, like Simon was asking with Wille's gender in mind; like he was making sure he didn't make Wille feel dysphoric, and that they were comfortable. Wille's heart fluttered in their chest.
They pulled back to look at Simon again. They were both panting gently, and Simon's cheeks were a lovely, darker shade that made Wille's heart beat even quicker. The hunger they felt for Simon in that moment was like nothing they'd ever experienced. They wanted to touch, to be touched, to taste– fuck, they didn't know where to start. They looked back and forth between Simon's hooded eyes, down to his mouth, kiss-bitten and wet and parted so temptingly.
“Yes,” they nodded quickly, too overcome with want to elaborate. They pressed forward again, catching Simon's sweet lips and with a gasp, ground their hips up against Simon's ass. They brought their hands to Simon's waist again, to steady him as they moaned into each other's mouths.
Simon's hands fumbled between them, hastily undoing the front of Wille's pants and pulling them down just enough for full access– not without some lifting and shuffling on Wille's part. Simon didn't hesitate for a second, he just pressed his palm against Wille's cock through their panties, his hand stilling as a harsh breath left his mouth.
“Holy shit,” Simon swallowed, and Wille looked up at him, wondering if they should have warned him, if it was too much, too–
“This is the hottest moment of my life,” Simon continued, trailing a finger over the soft lace, tracing the outline of Wille's cock, his eyes dark and hungry. “I need to see you in these again, with better lighting.” He squeezed Wille's cock and their hips jerked up, moaning low.
Simon's words, and the promise behind them, made Wille's heart soar, and their cock jump under Simon’s palm.
Then, he slipped his hand into Wille's underwear and freed their cock, gently tucking the waistband of their panties under their balls. The feeling of the cool night air and his soft hand tightening around them elicited a low, wrecked moan from somewhere deep in Wille's chest.
Simon leaned in, gasping against Wille's lips as he started stroking Wille almost delicately, teasing and feeling every inch of them. Wille's hips tried to move, their body chasing more friction. Simon made a pleased noise into Wille's mouth, kissing them almost roughly, a dizzying contrast to the gentle way he was stroking Wille.
They feared they might lose their mind. They wanted to touch Simon so badly. They wanted to make Simon moan and whine and come against them, wanted to hold Simon as he shook with pleasure.
“Simon–” Wille gasped, then groaned as Simon pulled their foreskin back to rub his thumb over the tip. Wille momentarily forgot how to speak.
“Hm?” Simon hummed, kissing across Wille's face to their neck, his tongue wet and warm. Wille whined slightly, trying desperately to gather their jumbled thoughts.
“Can I–” Wille moved a hand over Simon's solid thigh, up over one of his perfectly rounded asscheeks, and squeezed. Simon moaned, his hips pushing forward. “I want to–” fuck, they couldn't even form words. They just slid their hand over Simon's warm ass, around his hip, until it rested between his thighs, their palm pressing hard against the fabric of Simon's pants.
“Shit,” Simon cursed under his breath, squeezing Wille's cock. “Yeah.”
He let go of Wille's dick, which Wille would have whined pathetically about if it wasn't for the sight in front of them– Simon hastily unzipping his jeans and shoving them down his thighs, just enough to grab himself out. His cock was flushed and hard and entirely too tempting.
Everything seemed to happen all at once. Wille felt a hot bolt of arousal so sharp they were afraid they might come just from the light pressure of Simon's teasing fist and the sight of Simon's dick. They wrapped their hand around Simon without another word, touching him on pure instinct. He was utterly perfect, so hot and heavy in Wille's grip, and the whine that left his lips was so fucking gorgeous.
Simon nudged his hips forward and wrapped both of his hands around Wille's, pushing their hard lengths together and fuck, their cock was pressed against Simon's, velvety and warm and so incredibly hard. Simon moved his hands, squeezing them together and throwing his head back with a truly broken moan. There was a vague thought in the back of their mind that they should keep their noises subdued, being outside and all, but practical thoughts were impossible to keep in their head.
Wille moved their hand under Simon’s, determined to match his enthusiastic motions, to know it was their touch that sent Simon over the edge.
Just as Wille began to worry that the friction of their cocks was a bit dry, Simon brought a hand to his mouth and spit into it filthily. Wille let out an undignified whine, and Simon brought his now-slick hand back down, brushing Wille’s hand aside to cover their cocks with saliva. They resumed working each other, their movements smoother and quicker. Wille moaned, loud and uninhibited. Simon's cock seemed to grow harder under their touch, throbbing in their grip.
God, they really weren't going to last much longer. Simon was a fucking god straddling their lap, breathtakingly beautiful and moaning like it was a song.
And his hands, god, his hands on them was what drove them over the edge. Wille stared down at their cocks pressed together, overcome at the sight of both of Simon's alluring hands wrapped around them, the way his veins bulged and his tendons stuck out, the flex of his muscles rippling in his forearms, his flushed cock leaking precum onto Wille's.
Simon flicked his thumb over both of their tips, mixing their precum together with a desperate whimper. Wille looked up to find Simon was watching them, too, a look of complete ecstasy on his beautiful face.
Wille couldn't hold back anymore.
“Oh fuck– Simon, I'm gonna come–” they broke off with a guttural moan as their entire body tensed, their orgasm ripping through them so intensely that their breath stopped momentarily. When it came back, they let out a choked gasp as they continued to come all over Simon's cock, coating his beautiful fingers.
Simon jerked Wille through it, whimpering as Wille's warm cum spilled over him, making his movements slicker. The idea of jerking Simon's cock with their own cum to lubricate him was so unbelievably hot.
Simon released their sensitive cock as Wille’s brain came back online, and they squeezed their fist tightly around Simon's cock, stroking him in earnest now. They looked up into his face to categorize every single change of expression, his slightly-furrowed brow, the flush on his sharp cheeks. His lips, kiss-bitten, dropped open, eyes completely transfixed on the sight between them until he felt Wille's eyes on him.
Wille would never forget that moment. The moment Simon looked up into their eyes, his face flushed, his gaze hungry, practically feral. When their eyes locked, Simon's face twitched, morphed into something so vulnerable, and suddenly he was gasping out Wille's name, coming over their fist as Wille held his eyes.
He shoved his face into Wille's neck as he came down, panting and shaking while Wille held Simon's hip groundingly with one hand, the other, messy one braced against the grate beside his thigh. They let their hand skim up Simon's side, sliding under his shirt to rub soothing circles on his lower back. His skin was warm and smooth, and his head on Wille's shoulder felt so incredibly right, too tender for a fire escape-hookup with someone they had just met.
Simon leaned back after a moment of that, glancing down at the mess between them with an amused grimace. “Fuck, what are we going to do about that?”
Wille's pretty panties were painted with their cum, and Simon's (unfortunately) black jeans had some very noticeable stains on the front. Simon attempted to rub a bit of cum off of his jeans, cursing when it seemed to make it worse. He was so adorable.
“Simon,” Wille interrupted his stressful muttering, tilting their head a little when Simon looked back up. Simon's tense face melted completely, the crease between his eyebrows disappearing. They couldn't really help themself; they had to touch Simon's beautiful face.
They reached forward, shifting a curl from Simon's temple and letting their finger trace down to Simon’s jaw. Simon leaned toward Wille in a way that seemed subconscious, intuitive.
“My house is close. I don't think Felice will mind if we disappear tonight. We already kind of did.”
Simon's short, gentle laugh made butterflies erupt in Wille's stomach. They slid their hand down Simon's smooth neck, curling around the back of it to pull Simon in for a quick kiss. It was slow, so slow. Simon's lips moved against theirs in such a tender way, a shudder rippled through Wille.
Simon pulled back with a glittering smile that rivaled the bright moon shining above them. Every star in the sky was put to shame by his mere existence beneath them. Simon shone like something brighter, something coming towards Wille, an asteroid falling to earth. It had already carved out a crater in Wille's heart, a space made just for him to nestle into.
“Okay,” Simon breathed. “Take me home.”
Wille beamed up at him.
After some logistics involving Wille stripping from the waist down to clean up the worst of their mess, they shamefully darted out the alleyway exit to avoid Ayub and Felice, giggling like teenagers who had just gotten away with it.
The walk was short, filled with laughter and anticipatory looks. Simon walked close beside Wille, their shoulders brushing, and Wille was absolutely giddy. Fuck the weed, they were high on Simon. His fucking smile, the glimmer in his eyes, his deep, melodious laugh. The feel of him watching Wille was a drug in itself. He followed Wille up the three flights of stairs to their apartment, and silently toed his shoes off at the door while they gave him a shy smile.
Simon in their space felt exactly like they thought it would; like he belonged there, gorgeous and curious, there for Wille.
Wille stepped toward Simon, placing their hand on Simon's hip and pulling him closer. Simon melted into them, tilting his head up as if in surrender, and kissed Wille slowly, his lips moving against Wille’s gently at first, like a caress. Then, as he wound his arms around Wille's neck, pulling them closer, he ran his tongue along Wille's bottom lip, humming when he did, like he was savoring the taste of them.
Wille sighed and opened their mouth, letting Simon's tongue in. He kissed Wille just as slowly, but Wille could feel the heat behind it, the intent. When they pulled away, panting, they pressed their forehead to Simon's and he took a deep breath that fluttered against Wille's face, sliding his hands down Wille's chest.
“Want to show me your mural now?”
Wille snorted, pulling back. “Right now?”
“Of course,” Simon smiled, surprising Wille with a quick, chaste kiss that felt more domestic than erotic. Their heart picked up as they led Simon to their room.
This was different than the way they thought they'd lead him here. They thought they'd be pressing Simon against the wall and ripping his clothes off the second they stepped into their apartment. This felt more vulnerable, bringing Simon into their room for the first time to show him something that meant so much to them.
They watched Simon approach the wall they spent ages on last summer, filled with all their favorite albums they'd thrifted or found over the years. They had started it with Erik and finished it by themself.
“It's amazing,” Simon murmured, looking over his shoulder to illuminate Wille with his mega-watt smile. Wille couldn't help but smile back despite the insane way their heart was thudding against their ribcage.
Wille took a step closer to Simon.
As if called to it, Simon reached a finger out to trace the cover that meant the very most to Wille. His fingers trailed over the sharpied words, ‘To Wille, love Erik’.
Wille stepped closer; two more steps and they could be pressing their chest to Simon's back, nosing into his curls.
“Who's Erik?”
Wille closed the distance between them. Somehow, having Simon's body against theirs made the words easier to say.
“My brother. He died,” Wille whispered like it was a secret, winding their arms around Simon's middle.
Simon leaned back against Wille with a sigh. “I thought it might be something like that,” Simon said back quietly, clearly just as hesitant as Wille to break the soft, vulnerable moment they found themselves in. Wille hummed questioningly, but Simon explained himself in the next breath.
“The way this is put together–” Simon ran a finger over the vinyl cover again as he spoke. Wille watched his hand, enraptured, Simon's soft voice wrapping around Wille like a comforting blanket. “With this one in the middle. Like everything branches off from it. I could tell it was important.”
Wille hummed and inhaled the sweet scent of Simon's hair. They wanted to melt into him, to tell him everything; the good, the bad, the hideous.
Simon sighed again as Wille kissed below his ear gently, just to see what the skin there felt like under their lips– to force themself out of the thoughts that plagued them, always.
He leaned his head to the side, exposing more of his neck, and Wille buried himself in the crook of it.
“Yeah,” they whispered against the collar of Simon's shirt when no other words would come to them. “It is important.”
“My dad…he died a few years ago. I know it's not the same but–”
“It's losing someone.”
Simon knew. Simon understood.
“Exactly,” Simon's hands skimmed down Wille’s arms, settling on their hands and squeezing. “Thank you for sharing this with me,” Simon whispered, their quietest words spoken all night.
He saw Wille's mural for what it symbolized for them– this thing that combined their best memories of Erik and the grief they had to face, the work it took to be able to enjoy this new phase in their life that Erik would never witness. It was both a memorial, and a testament to new beginnings.
“Come,” Wille whispered, gently turning Simon in their arms until they were face to face, gently holding Simon's jaw in their hands and kissing him again, pouring all of their feelings into it– soft curiosity, the joy of being seen in so many ways. Simon kissed them back just as tenderly.
“Can I put a record on for you?” Wille asked against Simon's lips, pulling back to see him nod.
“Sit here,” Wille said, smiling gently as they steered Simon to the edge of the bed and pressed him down by his shoulders. Simon smiled up at them, amusement and something warmer swirling in his eyes. It made Wille's stomach tighten, reminding them of the look Simon gave them earlier in the evening while he’d fallen apart for them.
“Close your eyes.”
Simon raised an eyebrow.
“Come on, do it for the experience,” Wille teased, giving Simon pleading eyes. Simon let out a breathy laugh but complied, squeezing his eyes shut. Wille quickly searched through their boxed vinyl, pulling out the one they were searching for almost immediately– fortunately, they'd listened to recently, so it was near the top.
The record player spun and crackled and all at once, their room was filled with the chipper sound of a guitar and the voice of Stevie Nicks harmonizing a conflicted reflection of a love that ended.
Wille turned the music down a bit and crossed the room again to settle in beside Simon. He had a smile on his lips, but kept his eyes closed until Wille sat next to him. They were shiny and lovelier than anything Wille had ever seen.
“You're amazing. You know that, right?”
Wille blushed at Simon’s words, the matter-of-fact way he said them. They shrugged, bashful.
“No, really,” Simon scooted impossibly closer to Wille, tucking a stubborn lock of hair behind their ear and leaning his face toward them. “You're…god, I need to be careful with you.”
“Careful?” Wille echoed, under the spell of Simon's eyes, the sweet smell of his breath.
“You're perfect, Wille. If I'm not cautious, I'll fall for you and get my heart broken,” Simon confessed, his voice shaky, conveying every bit of fear Wille themself was feeling. This all felt so big, so important, so incredibly fast. What were they doing?
“I like you, Simon,” Wille said, plain and simple. “I don't know what this is, but I know that. And I want to get to know you better. To see where this goes,” Wille murmured, putting a hand on Simon's thigh. Simon looked up at them, his expression vulnerable, and Wille's heart thumped out an uneven beat.
Simon leaned forward, his intentions perfectly clear. Wille placed a hand on Simon's neck and pulled him in, kissing him hard and deep. Simon matched their enthusiasm, inhaling through his nose and opening his mouth with a deep groan when Wille licked at his soft lips. Simon’s tongue caressed theirs, his hands scrambling up the back of Wille’s neck to thread through their hair, tugging in a way that made a moan spill out of their throat.
Simon climbed over them, settling in their lap again, gyrating forward with tiny, nearly imperceptible movements that seemed designed to drive Wille insane. Simon pressed on their chest and they followed his direction, allowing Simon to push them back against the mattress. Simon wasted no time dipping his head down to kiss Wille’s neck, wet and hot and with just a hint of teeth.
“Simon,” Wille sighed, lost entirely in the feeling of him.
“Always say my name like that,” Simon murmured against Wille’s collar, trailing his tongue along the bones there.
“Simon…”
Simon made a noise, like a whine and a groan mixed, and stuck his hands up under Wille’s shirt. “We should take this off,” Simon whispered into Wille's ear, his breath tickling, making goosebumps erupt down Wille's neck.
“Mhm,” was all Wille managed to get out.
“We should take it all off. Our clothes need a wash, anyway,” Simon continued, casually, but his neediness was apparent in how breathless his voice sounded. His hand moved up Wille's chest to brush over a hard nipple.
“Yes,” Wille gasped, biting down on a whine. They were getting hard again, dizzyingly fast. Then they were undressing, Simon helping Wille pull their pants down their thighs, then stepping off the bed to take off his own.
Wille's breath caught in their throat as they took Simon in. Their eyes trailed from his mussed curls and lovely face, down his tan, toned chest to the trail of dark hair under his navel, leading to his flushed, hard cock. Wille never wanted to lick something so badly. They imagined trailing their tongue down that line of hair. Or starting at his throat, all the way down until they reached his cock.
Simon stared down at Wille like he was thinking something similar. His eyes were dark and simmering as they roamed all over Wille, and the air around them fizzed and crackled. Just when Wille started twitching, their neglected cock aching to be touched, Simon crawled back onto the bed, settling over Wille again.
It was so much more intense, being pressed against Simon like that, skin on skin. Wille gasped when Simon perfectly lined up against them, and when they chanced a glance down, they moaned at the sight, their cocks brushing, warm and hard and leaking against each other.
“Shame we made such a mess earlier. I wanted to fuck you in your pretty panties.” Simon murmured, trailing a wet kiss behind Wille's ear.
“Next time,” Wille gasped without a second thought, followed by a guttural moan when Simon wrapped his hand around Wille.
“Next time,” Simon agreed, whispering the words in Wille’s ear. The combination of his hot breath hitting Wille’s skin, his voice low and raw in a way Wille hadn’t yet heard, and his hand giving Wille friction that was slow and soft and not quite enough, but glorious, made Wille’s head swim.
Wille groaned, pulling Simon’s face down to kiss him deeply. “Will you fuck me?”
“God, Wille,” Simon moaned, rubbing his erection against Wille’s, gently moving his thumb over a prominent vein on Wille’s cock. “You’re so hot. Lube? Condoms?”
“Drawer,” Wille said on a harsh exhale, their head stuck in a haze of lust and need while Simon quickly grabbed everything.
“Wanna lift your legs?” Simon asked softly, running a hand up Wille's thigh. They immediately bent their legs, holding their knees up to their chest, flushing and desperate as they bared themself completely. It should have been awkward, probably, but it wasn't. Not with the way Simon was looking at them, like he wanted to devour Wille entirely.
He coated his fingers with lube, immediately bringing his hand down to run his fingers up and down Wille's crease, teasing their entrance with each pass, putting more and more pressure until Wille whined at him. Simon pressed a finger in with a gasp of his own as it sank deeper.
“Holy shit,” Wille moaned, their mouth dropping open. Simon's hands were fucking magic. So gentle and graceful and purposeful, the movement of his finger was calculated, pressing against the walls of Wille's body, damn near caressing them.
Simon fingered them like it was his sole purpose in life. He moaned, low and needy, when he pressed a second finger into Wille, like this was getting him off. It was driving Wille fucking insane. They were so turned on, so relaxed that it didn't take much coaxing for Simon to work a third finger inside of them.
All the while, Wille moaned and whined and gazed incredulously at Simon, watched as he looked down at his own fingers fucking into Wille. He kept letting out soft moans that harmonized perfectly alongside Wille's and Wille needed him inside them.
“I'm ready,” Wille managed to gasp out.
“Okay,” Simon said, the word coming out shaky, breathless. “I'll go slow.” He assured gently, his eyes focused on Wille, watching intently as he withdrew gently, stroking his slick fingers up Wille's taint and along the underside of their balls teasingly. Wille shuddered and moaned at the caress, squirming impatiently. Simon made this sweet humming noise in response and rubbed Wille's thigh soothingly. The gesture was intimate and made Wille feel warm in an entirely new way.
They panted up at the ceiling while Simon rolled the condom on and quickly slicked himself up.
He hovered over Wille, his dark curls falling around his face, his eyes as dark as the night sky, smoldering with something that turned Wille's bones liquid. Wille's breath caught in their throat, and they wanted to say a thousand things, mostly about how heartbreakingly beautiful Simon was, but what came out was a simple, trembling plea.
“Please,” they exhaled, their body twitching with want.
And Simon was there, the head of his cock pressed against Wille's entrance, filling them slowly, so fucking slowly that Wille felt like their head might explode with pleasure, with need.
They moaned, loud and broken, and Simon groaned, pushing into them tenderly, like Wille was fragile. Then, when he was all the way in, he paused, leaning over Wille and panting.
Wille ran their hands along Simon, winding their arms around him to pull his body closer, wrapping their legs around him needily. They splayed their hands across his back, feeling the way his ribs expanded with each heaving breath. They stayed like that for a moment, panting against each other, until Wille’s muscles had fully relaxed around Simon, and the slightly uncomfortable fullness turned into delicious pressure.
They shifted their hips up shamelessly, grinding against Simon in an effort to get him to move, making them both moan. Simon shifted, sitting up to look down between their bodies. Wille whimpered, and Simon pressed a hand against their waist in a way that felt heavy and possessive.
He thrust back into Wille experimentally, his eyes focused first on his cock disappearing into Wille, then on Wille's face. Whatever he found there must have been good, because he began fucking into Wille faster, setting a pace that quickly had Wille unraveling beneath him.
Every precise, hard thrust brought them closer together, the sound of slapping skin and Simon’s low groans mixing with Wille's soft whines and moans made Wille feel like they'd slipped into a different dimension. One that was only this. Simon and pleasure and close close close.
“Want to fuck you without a condom next time,” Simon breathed across Wille’s face. “Want to come inside you.”
It was the first thing Simon had said since he started fucking them and holy shit. Wille moaned loudly, thinking of Simon even closer, his bare cock inside of them, filling them up– “Yeah? You’re so tight. Want to feel you– fuck.”
Wille clenched around Simon, their body shaking, so close. Simon’s hand on them was fast and slick and suddenly Wille needed something different.
“Slower,” Wille pleaded, whining when Simon dipped his hips and thrust deeply, slowly. His hand slowed its frantic tugging, changed to tight and unhurried and amazing. Exactly what Wille needed. Simon's moan mixed with theirs and they arched into Simon's touch, needing more, needing to be closer, for more of Simon's body to be touching them.
“Kiss me. Please.” Wille gasped out, almost whining when Simon let go of their cock.
Simon leaned forward, bracing one hand on the mattress and burying his head in Wille’s neck, moaning open mouthed and hot against their skin. Wille hooked their legs around him, tilting their head to allow Simon's eager mouth more room. His skin was so warm and everywhere. Touching Wille's in so many places, it made them dizzy.
Simon fucked into Wille, slow and hard and deep, hitting Wille’s prostate with each thrust, making them whine and gasp and throw their head back against the pillow. Simon kissed and licked at Wille’s throat, and it was so much, and Simon was so perfect.
Wille’s cock was trapped between their bodies, rubbing against Simon’s stomach; slow, delicious friction that threatened to finally bring them over the edge.
“Simon,” Wille sighed, surprised by the pleasure that burst through them from simply saying his name. “You feel so good.”
Simon made a noise against Wille's neck, thrusting harder when Wille's hole unintentionally clenched around him. Their body was wound so tightly, waiting to explode. Simon lifted his head and Wille welcomed his kiss, wet and slow and hot, both of them making soft, whining noises against each other.
“Can you come like this?” Simon whispered against Wille's mouth, still fucking Wille slow and deep, but the way their bodies met was still desperate, like they couldn't get close enough.
“Yes, yes– oh, god,” Wille groaned when Simon sped up the rocking of his hips, just a little, just enough to hit Wille's prostate more purposely. “Fuck, don't stop,” they breathed, their body clenching, hands winding around Simon's back to ground them, fingers digging into Simon's skin.
He reached down, running his palm along Wille's leaking cock before gripping it almost gently; there wasn’t enough room between them for him to move his hand much. Still, they whimpered at the touch, their hips thrusting up against him. Simon ran his thumb over Wille's sticky tip, once, twice, and again–
“You're so good– fuck,” Simon murmured. Wille clenched around Simon again, making his eyes flutter shut. “So fucking good, Wille. Want to watch you come again.”
Wille's cock twitched in Simon's hand, and their breath stuttered. His words, the praise, spread through them like liquid fire, hot and all-consuming. Simon's thumb moved over Wille’s sensitive tip again and again, his cock pushing into them rhythmically while their stomach muscles tightened and their legs shook. Their blood was boiling, their mind spinning with the beautiful sounds of Simon moaning above them, and all at once, with only a whimpered warning, their orgasm washed over them, making their vision blur around the edges and their toes curl.
Simon let out a whine that morphed into a moan at the same time Wille clenched hard around him, cum shooting across their stomachs.
“Oh, fuck, I'm gonna come,” Simon groaned.
Wille looked up at him, watched the way his eyes closed and how he bit his lip hard before his hips snapped forward, and how his mouth dropped open with a low, long moan. He thrust gently a few more times, one hand on Wille's waist, his fingers squeezing them. They sighed and closed their eyes as Simon pressed his head against their shoulder, and for a moment the only sound was their panting breaths and Wille's heart thundering in their chest.
“You okay?” Simon murmured, his grip on Wille's waist loosening, gently soothing the spots he had dug his fingers into. He planted a sweet kiss on Wille's shoulder before sitting up, and it was almost too much for their heart to handle.
They opened their eyes to see Simon, to see if his eyes were as soft as his voice had sounded. Gentle, beautiful, his plump, kiss-bitten lips turned up at the corners. Wille's heart stuttered.
“Perfect,” Wille breathed, closing their eyes again as Simon pulled out of them, biting down on the noise that wanted to break free as he did. “That was amazing.”
“So good,” Simon agreed quietly, making Wille’s insides writhe pleasantly. “Don’t move. I'll be right back.”
Wille laid in bed, naked and sticky and entirely boneless while their heartbeat slowed, until Simon came back a minute later, one of Wille's bathroom towels in his hands and a shy turn to his mouth.
He climbed onto the bed while Wille stared at him, completely motionless and entranced.
“Don’t worry, it's warm,” Simon whispered, gently running it across Wille's stomach.
Their heart rate spiked again, their cheeks flushing. Something sharp and aching and beautiful was blooming in their chest, blocking their throat.
They hummed when Simon gently cleaned their soft cock and spread their legs when he gently pushed against their thigh to carefully wipe their sensitive hole. It was quiet and intimate. It almost scared Wille, how perfect it was. How completely comfortable and secure and amazing this moment felt, this moment with someone they'd met mere hours ago.
Their eyes met when Simon was done, and something about the tender, careful look on Simon's face made them wonder if they weren't alone in their thoughts. They watched him throw the rag in their laundry hamper, and sighed gratefully when he climbed back into bed. Wille lifted up the covers, a question, and they both climbed under the soft duvet.
Simon curled into them without a word, his head on their chest and Wille wrapped their arms around him, pulling him closer. They inhaled the smell of his hair, hands pressed tightly against his bare back.
“Mmm, this is nice,” Simon mumbled.
“Do you want to stay?” Wille asked quietly.
“Mmhmm,” Simon sighed against Wille, already drifting off against them, his hand resting on Wille's chest, fingers slowly and delicately tracing over Wille’s collarbones, again and again. It was hypnotic, and at first, Wille thought their body might be too awake, buzzing with possibilities, to fall asleep. But every pass of Simon's fingers seemed to pull Wille under.
They closed their eyes, and Simon's finger slowed, then his breathing. A car horn blared in the distance. Simon made a small noise, and Wille's arms instinctively held him tighter.
Just before sleep pulled them all the way under, they had the thought they'd been repressing all evening, because it was too scary, too real, for something so new. Wille worried that merely hoping for it might end up crushing them.
The thought that something had begun tonight– something huge. Something that felt so devastatingly important and essential and how can they keep this forever?
The morning sun was peaking through Wille's curtains when they opened their eyes, dust motes swirling in the beams. There was a steady warmth pressed against Wille's body and their insides tingled as last night came back to them in waves. Simon in the dark, cool air surrounding them as they fell apart together. Simon, looming over them as they lay naked in their bed, the hungry look in his eyes. And then, Simon softly curling into them, his curls tickling Wille's bare chest, his fingers gently caressing Wille's skin as they both drifted to sleep.
Wille inhaled deeply, and Simon stirred next to them, a soft groan leaving his lips as he stretched. He opened his dark eyes with a flutter, and then they were focused on Wille. The butterflies in their stomach were still there, stronger than ever.
“Morning,” Simon murmured, his voice quiet and sleepy.
Wille was speechless for a second, awestruck by the perfection of the moment. They shuffled a bit closer to Simon, so close they could feel Simon's next breath, and then gently shifted a curl off of Simon's forehead.
They inhaled deeply, their mind transported back to the evening before, all the whispers between them, the touches. Again, they were hit with the stark realization that this thing, whatever they were doing right now, was important. Maybe even permanent. Like Simon was already digging himself a spot in Wille's life, and Wille had happily handed him the shovel.
“Morning,” Wille echoed, their voice embarrassingly reverent. But they couldn't bring themself to mind when Simon's answering smile was so gorgeous.
This feeling in Wille’s chest was so incredible, so new and unfamiliar and tender, they simply needed to do something about it.
Wille moved closer, morning breath be damned. They pressed their lips to Simon's softly, slowly. Once, twice, before Simon inhaled and kissed them a third time– harder, more insistent. Wille threaded their fingers through Simon's hair to bring him closer, shifting their body so their chest hovered over Simon's.
Simon hummed against their mouth before darting his tongue out to trace Wille's top lip. Wille tilted their head and opened their mouth, letting Simon's eager tongue claim theirs.
Just as Wille had felt bold enough to move their hand between them, rubbing enthusiastically over Simon's morning erection, there was a familiar noise in the living room. At the same time, Simon moaned softly into Wille's mouth and their brain couldn't process anything but making Simon moan like that again.
Suddenly, an unbearably chipper voice came from the other side of Wille's bedroom door.
Wille barely had time to exchange a horrified glance with Simon as they ripped their hand away from Simon's cock.
“God, Wille, you better have a good explanation for last night because I– oh!” She exclaimed as the door flew open in signature Felice fashion.
“Felice!” Wille groaned as Simon desperately pulled the sheets up over them in a fit of surprised giggles.
Felice covered her eyes theatrically. “Sorry, sorry! I was just– and I didn't–”
“Did you think of calling me?”
“I did!” Felice said, obviously struggling between being outraged and amused. “Clearly you were too busy to answer.”
“Oh my god! Can you just–”
“I bought you a coffee, it's on the table. I’m expecting gossip tomorrow.” She paused, arms crossed. “And you're buying dinner, as an apology for abandoning me.”
Wille stared at her, laughing, then turned to Simon with a shrug.
“Want to come?”