Umnonottoday1
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Get off my lawn, or I'll turn the hose on you by Bergen
Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
30 Apr 2024
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Summary
“How old are you?”
“What do you care?” is the hostile reply.
“Because I don’t remember agreeing to hire kids on the cleaning team.”
Peter Parker takes another bite of his sandwich and says, around a full mouth: “I’m just here for my community sentence.”
“Huh,” Tony says. “Why?”
“I spray painted ‘superheroes should go fuck themselves’ on the side of this building. Got caught.”
“Better luck next time, then. Were you in my lab yesterday?”
“I was in several labs,” says the kid dismissively.
“Did you mess with my calculations?”
“I corrected them, if that’s what you mean. Today is my last day, and the thought of leaving them up like that, half-assed, gave me angina. So, yeah, sue me.”
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After failing to save someone from a fire, Spider-Man hung up his suit. Now, three months later, a grumpy teen named Peter Parker stumbles into the Avengers’ lives.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 39,106
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 554
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- 5,403
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- 1,258
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Bookmarked by Umnonottoday1
21 Jan 2026
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Never mind, it's over your head by Bergen
Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
17 Sep 2024
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“So what have you been up to this weekend?”
“Family picnic,” Peter says.
“Oh, great, great fun,” Tony says and swipes away from the article about Spider-Man wrestling a giant spider on the roof of the Chrysler building.
It’s quite obvious that Tony knows he is Spider-Man, but decided not to acknowledge it; decided to keep the secret going. For what reason, Peter doesn’t know. Maybe Tony thinks he can use the information in his favor, or maybe he just doesn’t want Peter to freak out. Either way, it serves Peter just fine, because Tony tries so hard to keep up his oblivious act that he never prods too hard or looks too deep.
Which means all of Peter’s far bigger secrets are still safe.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,647
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 482
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- 4,832
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- 1,122
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Bookmarked by Umnonottoday1
20 Jan 2026
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Define normal by Bergen
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
01 Nov 2025
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On a perfectly average Tuesday night – as far as any night can be called perfectly average anymore nowadays – the sky goes pitch black above Manhattan, a violent storm rattles the roofs, vivid blue and purple lightning bolts illuminate the clouds.
Once it is over, as suddenly as it began, news trickles in of difficult-to-explain phenomena occurring worldwide: The statue of liberty has changed color to a bright pink, an exact replica of the great wall of China has appeared across the Sahara desert, it rains feathers in Copenhagen for several hours, every single stapler on Sumba Island turns into a coat hanger, and Tony Stark wakes up from an impossible-to-wake-up-from coma.Bookmarked by Umnonottoday1
19 Jan 2026
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Piece of Cake by walking_contradiction42
Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
11 Jan 2026
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Summary
That’s when another voice is added to the mix and Peter’s pulse spikes a second time. “Oh, thank God, you found her,” a person, who looks and sounds suspiciously like Tony Stark, says. Peter looks back over at the woman and – yeah okay, that is definitely Pepper Potts.
Oh God, Peter just tried to explain a science pun to Tony Stark’s daughter.
Morgan rolls her eyes, finally letting go of his hand in favour of being picked up by her father. “No, daddy, I found him,” she says and gives Mr. Stark a meaningful look. Peter just isn’t sure what said meaning is supposed to be.Or: 5 reasons not to adopt Peter Parker + 5 times his attempts to fix them were never necessary in the first place
Bookmarked by Umnonottoday1
19 Jan 2026
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Summary
Steve was still adjusting. Definitely not quite back to normal – probably wouldn’t ever be normal again, if he were honest with himself – but he was on his way to something normal adjacent, and that had to count for something.
OR:
As Steve navigates the complicated twists and turns and backslides of recovery, he slowly learns what it's like to have people he can rely on. It's a novel concept.
Series
- Part 3 of Nowhere to look but inside
- Language:
- English
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- 50,571
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- 11/?
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Bookmarked by Umnonottoday1
17 Jan 2026