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how do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become? by rainny_days
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
26 Dec 2025
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After the shitshow that’s been his life for the past few months, Eddie decides that the best way to move forward is to outsource his life decisions to Buck - after all, Buck has always known how to manage Eddie’s life better than Eddie could. And if it prevents Buck from moving out, then all the better.
Buck is trying to find a new apartment before he gets too comfortable in the Diaz home, but Eddie keeps asking him for things he wants too much to say no to. All he wants is to not hurt anyone, but Eddie seems to be determined to make that impossible.
All the while, there’s Christopher, the firehouse, and the love of it all.
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Moonlight slips through the blinds, both brightening the room in a way that creates a haze of greyish midnight blue and casts lines of shadows across the room. Buck’s side of the bed is nearest to the window, which means he’s facing Eddie’s side of the bed— an empty one at that.
Doubt clouds Buck’s muddled brain, and his eyebrows wrinkle in confusion. There’s no reason for Eddie to be behind him— none that make sense at least— but his hope gets the better of him.
“Eddie?” he croaks out, starting to tilt his head backward.
“Not quite,” the deep voice of an unknown man says.
Buck and Eddie have just started moving into their new house when trouble in the form of two cruel intruders finds its way into their home in the middle of the night.
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Isabel calls to tell them Eddie's been shot on a Thursday afternoon and by lunch on Friday Helena and Ramon are landing at LAX. When they land, they learn Eddie's already home recovering and has been for two weeks.
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Or, Helena (and Ramon) tries to find a way back into Eddie's life and doesn't know what to make of finding Buck around every corner she turns.
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stuck in secrets that i've spoken by effervescentwolf for thelonggoodbye
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
01 Aug 2025
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“Maybe you should try casual. Date a friend who would still be your friend after you break up,” Buck says, and in the same breath, without thinking, “Date me.”
He snaps his mouth shut, his entire body flushing with heat. Eddie looks at him for a very, very long second. “You.”
Through the sudden panic, Buck’s mouth goes on autopilot, “No sex, just a few dates, we’ll have an amicable break up. I already know and love Christopher. And anyway, I’m a guy. So, no need to worry about you catching feelings either.”
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Spoiler alert: it’s not casual. They don’t break up. And they have sex.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,765
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 305
- Kudos:
- 2,731
- Bookmarks:
- 627
- Hits:
- 24,476
Bookmarked by Lucid
16 Sep 2025
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
Romantic, honest, communication
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There once was a boy, who was brave and true,
Who was mighty and strong, and a good boy, too.
His name was Evan, and he came from afar,
And legend says that he was born to be a star.Series
- Part 2 of Breathe verse
Bookmarked by Lucid
27 Aug 2025
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Summary
“Buck,” he says. Quiet. He keeps leaning forward until his forehead bumps against the glass. “You gotta—you gotta listen to me, okay?”
Buck’s shaking his head before Eddie’s even finished with his sentence. “No, don’t—don’t start. Please.”
...or, Eddie’s in the lab.
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Spaghetti and Red Wine by arthropodwithapen
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
16 Aug 2023
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Summary
After Peter's precarious position goes from bad to worse time and time again, he is left all alone with nothing but his anger and resentment at the world to keep him company. He wonders how much more he can take and whether the growing grudge between him and the Avengers will be enough to finish him off for good. Will he be able to complete his mission in time? Does he even want to anymore?
Of course. He is Spider-Man and he has a job to do. And he'll do it even if it kills him. For everyone else's sake.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 224,770
- Chapters:
- 74/74
- Comments:
- 1,654
- Kudos:
- 5,653
- Bookmarks:
- 1,344
- Hits:
- 171,420
Bookmarked by Lucid
21 Jun 2025
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- Words:
- 104,242
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 1,114
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“But then, Ravi, he said the most insane shit to me the next morning,” Buck says, his scowl becoming more pronounced. “Like it actually really pissed me off.”
And — despite himself — Ravi’s intrigued. It’s not his fault, he just likes gossip. “What did he say?” Ravi asks, finally looking away from the hose.
Buck blinks at him for a moment and the nail picking intensifies. Ravi has a bad feeling about this.
“He thinks Eddie was his competition,” Buck finally says. “Like I’m in love with Eddie, or something. Isn’t that crazy?”
Oh. Oh, this is really bad actually.
Or: Ravi has to deal with Buck spiralling about being in love with Eddie. He’s mainly just worried if he’s going to survive his next shift.
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While in El Paso after running away from home to his grandparents, Chris stews in his anger towards his dad. However, the room he is staying in used to be Eddie’s and Chris stumbles across his high school diary. While he starts reading it to see if his dad ever wrote down anything embarrassing, it causes him to realize how different his childhood has been form Eddie’s, that his family isn’t what he always thought it had been. And that the bridge between him and Eddie isn’t as burnt and the damage not as permanent as Eddie fears.
AKA: a view of season 8A from Chris’s perspective where he starts to get a look behind the curtain of the generational trauma his family holds and finds some grace and forgiveness for Eddie along the way.
Bookmarked by Lucid
09 Feb 2025
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
Eddie's diary - "I just want to be normal."
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Summary
When Eddie was little, hiding under the blankets was his way of escaping, it felt like magic. He’d lie still, taking shallow breaths to keep the heat from building up and let his mind carry him far away. He’d imagine the worlds he’d read about in books, places where he wasn’t Eddie Diaz, a boy too soft, too different.
Now, he burrows deeper into the darkness, as if it can protect him from the ache clawing its way up his chest. It doesn’t help. It never does.
The darkness shifts, taking shape. A boy appears. Dark curls. Somber hazel eyes. A grin that tilts a little to the side, disarming in its simplicity. A voice so soft it made Eddie’s chest tighten and his cheeks burn hot.
Jake.
The vision warps and blurs, a man this time, the curls turning golden, the eyes lightening into the purest blue Eddie’s ever seen. A blue that could swallow the sky whole. A blue that laughed and lived and loves him despite all that’s wrong with him. He can see life in them, the kind of life Eddie’s always longed for but has never dared let himself touch.
Buck.
Or; Eddie’s journey to understanding his past and accepting his future, told through the 5th day of every month of his move back to El Paso.
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“Look," Maddie says. "I don’t have a lot of experience here. But I think it might not be exactly what you think. Like sometimes people just get all... twisted up inside. And it takes time to untangle, you know?”
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Buck confesses. It doesn't go all that well.
Series
- Part 1 of law of holes diptych
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,765
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 226
- Kudos:
- 1,919
- Bookmarks:
- 414
- Hits:
- 20,364
Bookmarked by Lucid
20 Nov 2024
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
The best Buddie confessions I've ever read. If you're looking through bookmarks and are considering reading this, save yourself some time and just read it.
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Buck could never have predicted that today was going to go like this.
There are always so many predictions of what a shift is going to look like – most of the time they spend the day on medical calls and dealing with people who make dumb decisions but today was something that he would never have predicted.
But here he is laying on what feels like broken rocks, bleeding out from a rebar impaled in his stomach and the only thing that he can focus on is the arm sticking out under a large bit of concrete, limp and lifeless.
or, a near death experience that leads to love confessions over the radios.
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University has been hard on Marinette. Making new friends and maintaining her grades is a lot easier said than done when she has to disappear at odd times to fight akumas. She's struggling, and with Alya away with family and Adrien painfully out of reach, she's never felt lonelier.
If only she could talk to someone who really understood her struggles... but it's not like Chat Noir would know anything about loneliness. Right?
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Summary
“Oh Granger,” he purred. “Are you about to make my day?”
"N-no." But her hips betrayed her, grinding again and again and again over the thickness wedged snugly between her thighs.
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Or, Hermione has a thing for Quidditch players.
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Summary
Control isn't the only thing Draco Malfoy has lost. But he will get it back. He will get everything back.
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Adrien and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by VickyVicarious
Fandoms: Miraculous Ladybug
28 Aug 2016
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Summary
Chat Noir's used to bad luck - it kind of comes with the territory. But detransforming in the middle of a crowd of reporters is a little worse luck than he’s used to having.
And he hasn’t heard a thing from Ladybug since.
(AKA the "everyone finds out all at once" angst fic no one asked for.)
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Summary
After the defeat of Gabriel Agreste and the disappearance of the mysterious peacock miraculous user, Marinette is left to try her best as Guardian and pick up the pieces. With the kwamis left in hibernation, no leads on the missing peacock miraculous, and no way to contact her beloved partner, she's left to her wit's end on where to proceed.
That is, until the prime suspect of the peacock wielder coincidentally takes up an apprenticeship at her parents' bakery. Adrien Agreste, son of Hawkmoth, has seemingly planted his roots in her home while Marinette was away for an apprenticeship. This could either be a disaster in the making, or the perfect opportunity to retrieve the missing miraculous... either way, it's war.
At least, it would be, if the gosh darn villain weren't so sweet!
(putting this on ao3, used to be exclusive to my tumblr. read author's note for a more in-depth summary)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 0
- Chapters:
- 27/27
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 1,971
- Kudos:
- 12,690
- Bookmarks:
- 3,195
- Hits:
- 202,638
Bookmarked by Lucid
19 Dec 2023
Bookmarker's Notes
The LB comic we all needed. Amazing expressions, so cute and funny. Marinette is a hot mess and chaotic.
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Summary
Draco Malfoy is in his 30s and lives a peaceful life. He does part-time work for the ministry. Longbottom gave him a plant to take care of. His ruts are an inconvenience, but manageable. Life is simple until Hermione Granger’s sudden arrival at the ministry. A mystery concerning alpha and omega scents needs Draco’s alpha nose, and he’s forced into a deeper involvement than he bargained for, but at least he’s not the one who needs saving... right?
“My pheromones are triggering an adrenal rush,” Granger spoke suddenly, putting words to what he was feeling. “A testosterone spike enables you to fight off rivals for my egg. You’ll feel short-tempered and on edge.”
“Granger, this is hardly helping!” Draco snarled, his hand clawing uselessly into the stone wall before covering his face.
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Summary
Caput Mortuum: A useless substance left over from a chemical operation and the epitome of decline and decay, literally ‘dead head’ or ‘worthless remains’. A dark purple pigment.
Lucius Malfoy is the Minister for Magic, after The Order was unable to remain in power post-War. Draco Malfoy is the powerless figurehead of his father’s new regime. Banned from doing nearly everything (except the occasional topless photo shoot to cover up the more unsavoury aspects of Lucius’ plans), he has lost all hope for a better world. But Hermione Granger has just been captured and brought back to The Manor. And instead of being afraid, she looks like this is exactly where she wants to be. After years of apathy, Draco realises that he wants to know why.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 109,458
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 1,147
- Kudos:
- 3,247
- Bookmarks:
- 1,836
- Hits:
- 160,824
Bookmarked by Lucid
22 Jun 2023
Bookmarker's Notes
Assassin BAMF Hermione, Draco needs a hug, instead he gets knives but in a good way. The Malfoy library is alive and my favorite character